When Fine Isn't Enough

Most nights, I know the path to take,
Through all the thoughts that keep me awake.
I count the moments, learn the pace,
And finally find sleep's saving grace.

Most nights I manage fine,
But some nights are different.
They just are.

The art I’ve learned to use and keep,
To quiet thoughts and fall asleep,
It fails. 
The old way does not hold its own,
Leaving me on my own, all alone.

I usually take the help, the little pill,
That’s supposed to make me calm and still.
But such nights are not so simple,
They are like a stone,
Dropped into a troubled mind,
Stirring up only more ripples.

I don't feel tired.
I feel overwhelmed.

The reason for these restless nights,
Is a ghost only I can see.
How I get through them, raw and exposed,
Will always be a quiet negotiation,
Between my own heart and me.